


I'll try to talk refined (for fear that you find out)

by durantesknight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, First Kisses, Friends to Lovers, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, TW: Alcohol Consumption, background mentions of alex/kelly/sam, bc why not, costume birthday party!, hints of rojascorp, hints of superrojas, kara is sadly a cinephile, movies are discussed and referenced, they're so stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28802085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/durantesknight/pseuds/durantesknight
Summary: Its fine, its completely fine.Lena is perfectly capable of pretending not be in love with her best friend.So she won't tell kara she loves her, won't kiss her. She will go to her birthday party, celebrate her as a friend. And she will not get drunk.It's fine.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 385





	I'll try to talk refined (for fear that you find out)

**Author's Note:**

> title from hozier's talk

Kara texts Lena in the morning, she is in the middle of an advanced chemistry class when her phone vibrates next to her notebook.

**_Kara:_ ** _ So…. _

_ My birthday is next week. _

Lena holds the phone out of sight on her lap, lightly chuckling at her friend's lack of subtlety.

__ **Lena:** _ I'm aware? _

**_Kara:_ ** _ Nia wants 2 throw a costume party _

_ pls come? _

Lena groans, placing the phone back on the table. it isn't that she doesn't want to go, Kara and her friends are great company, they're almost like family to her.

The problem of course is that every party they throw, (birthdays, halloween, the soccer team's wins celebrations, etc) end with Lena drunk, having to bite her tongue not to say more than she should, not to tell Kara she has been in love with her for a good while now.

Not like it's her fault, everyone who meets Kara develops an infatuation with her. Her best friend is kind and smart, she has the cutest laugh and the most well sculpted shoulder. Lenas is pretty sure everyone is a tiny bit in love with her.

Wich of course is what makes this stupid  _ crush _ so ridiculous. she should be above that, should know better. After all Kara Danvers can have anyone on campus she wishes for, it's not like she's gonna pay any mind to her friend.

It makes her angry at herself too, Kara sees Lena as a friend, her best friend, and Lena goes and lets her mind wander into places it shouldn't, it's a sort of betrayal she doesn't want to impose on Kara.

Her phone vibrates again.

**_Kara:_ ** _ pls pls pls? _

_ andrea can come 2 _

Lena sighs, like she would ever be able to say to Kara anyway.

**Lena:** _ of course. _

* * *

"I'm not going," Andrea says without so much as looking back. She's sitting at her desk in her bedroom, infinite lines of code on the screen of her notebook, as she tries to solve some questions on a book, wearing an oversized hoodie Lena recognizes as being from an old boyfriend.

"Please Andy? I won't even tell you not to make fun of Kara's friends. And you can drink as much as you want, I'll drive."

Andrea turns around in her chair, a small frown on her face. Lena realizes averting her eyes that she is  _ only _ wearing the hoodie, her bare legs perched on top of the chair.

"You're not going to drink?" Lena nods and she smirks. "Are you going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?" She splutters and Andrea's smile grows.

"That you daydream about seeing how many fingers she can fit inside of you almost every night"

"Jesus Christ, Andy" It's all she can say, ducking her head to the ground as Andrea chuckles. They have known each other for years, there is no point in trying to hide anything from her, as much as she wishes it sometimes, for both of their sake. Lena hates it sometimes.

"You've seen the way she looks at you, right?" All the bite is gone from her voice and Lena looks up confused. Andrea's face with a distinct sad glint, a distant light in her eyes, no longer looking at Lena's face, but at a non existent point behind her shoulder "You should go for it." She looks almost sad.

"That's just how Kara is," Lena shakes her head dismissively. "She's a good friend."

Andrea's eyes go back to Lena, tracing her face, eyebrows knitted together, looking for something in Lena's face.

For a moment she is sure her friend is going to say something else, her mouth open. Instead Andrea turns her chair back around with a sigh.

"Fine I'll go, but I'm not behaving." She picks her pen back up. "And I'm dressing you up in something slutty."

  
  
  
  


"It's a movie themed party," Lena protests as Andrea flips between dresses. She's tired and half asleep.

the shop they are in is mostly empty as to be expected in the morning, they had thirty minutes before their next classes.

"That helps." Andre doesn't take her eyes off the clothes. "Do you know what Kara is dressing as?"

Lena shakes her head.

"No but I know whatever it is she's invested in it. Nia told me she bought a ton of fabric."

Andrea scoffs, walking away to the next row of clothes.

It's an interesting relationship Andrea has with Karw; She pretends to only tolerate her for Lena's sake (" _ I guess if our friendship survived your goth phase, it can survive your crush and that blonde muppet" she had said once when Lena suggested inviting Kara to a movie in their apartment. "Not sure she will though.")  _ and yet, she asks about her often when she doesn't have to, ogles at her arms, always finding excuses to touch her (mostly shoving her away). It was the kind of disdain that made Lena think of middle school boys and braids.

"I have an idea," Lena snaps away from her thoughts to Andrea holding a low cut black blouse, a way too self-satisfied smirk on her face.

  
  
  
  


Lena readjusts her breast in the shirt for the hundredth time as Andrea takes care of her hair. In the mirror she can tell she looks good, the black leather pants and tight shirt defining her body nicely, but still making hard not to feel a little exposed.

"Stop moving," Andrea complains, taking the last pin from her mouth and fixing Lena's hair. "I already told you, you look great, Kara's probably going to make all your wet dreams come true tonight." she takes a step back, looking at Lena in the mirror and nodding, seemingly satisfied with the result.

"You have to stop saying things like that," Lena gets up, looking for her heels.

Andrea raises an eyebrow and sits on the bed waiting. Her own costume–a white thin strap dress with a stain of blood coming down from the neck, and hair almost wet, combed back–perfectly arranged.

"It's not like that… I really like her.'' the last part comes as a whisper, it makes Lena feel vulnerable, and worst, childish, like a kid confessing their first crush. 

"I know." Lena looks up from putting on her shoes and finds Andrea looking away, in the direction of Lena's picture board, among all those pictures there is one she knows Andrea is looking at just from the distant, almost sad glint in her eyes; Lena and her, arms around each other, the Everest behind them, their last vacation before college. She looks back at Lena. "That's why I keep telling you to make a move."

They both know she doesn't mean it.

* * *

The Danvers sister's apartment is full and noisy, from the hallway outside Lena can hear the loud music and people talking, it's surprising no neighbor has called the police yet.

Lena tries knocking first but it quickly becomes clear that there's no point so she turns the door handle and lets herself in.

As expected it is packed, she can see mostly familiar faces, all dressed in a very array of outfits and wigs, she grips Andrea's hand so they don't get separated. 

she's barely two steps in when a small body collides with her in a hug, almost knocking her off her high heels: Nia.

"Oh my god Lena, you look incredible," she talks fast, taking a step back and looking Lena up and down. "Absolutely a whole snack. Has Kara seen you yet?"

Lena shakes her head. Nia herself is dressed in a blonde wig and a thick fur coat and gloves, whatever movie she's dressed as Lena doesn't recognize.

"We just got here," Lena points to Andrea behind herself, she and Nia exchange a quick nod, the kind shared between people who are around each other often, without ever really interacting. "And you look great,"

"I know right," she lets go of Lena's arms and does a swir. "It was Brainy, I don't actually know the movie, but I look great so," she shrugs, point behind her where her boyfriend, dressed like a mix between a business man and hippie is talking with some people.

Lena nods not really paying attention. She absolutely adores Nia, but she really wants to see Kara already, her friend had refused to give her any hint as to her outfit the whole two weeks, to say Lena is curious is an understatement.

"Anyway, Kara is in the kitchen" Nia says before taking a step closer to Lena, a conspiratory look on her face. "And between you and me, you should really take a deep breath before seeing her, maybe get a glass of water." she winks and smiles backing off. "You two have a great party!"

Before Lena can say anything else Nia is walking away, disappearing between bodys. She looks back to Andrea, frowning. 

"Let's go," Andrea says impatiently, stepping in front of Lena to take the lead. "Even I am curious now."

  
  
  


They spot Kara by spotting Alex.

She has her back to them, so Lena is not aware that it is her, but Alex sees them, herself dresses in an orange sweater and glasses, she smiles at Lena waving at them to come forward and the blonde who she had been talking to turns to see who she's looking at.

Lena is frankly grateful Andrea is the one leading them, otherwise she would have stopped dead in her tracks the minute she saw Kara.

The blonde looks absolutely dashing, her hair brushed to one side leaving her sharp jaw completely exposed in the other. A beige cowboy heat, matching her frock coat, hangs just a bit crooked on her head, she's wearing a dark blue shirt and a daker scarf carefully wrapped around her neck, her pants just the right kind of tight, hugging her thighs, and the thick belt of the holsters hanging low on her waist; She looks like a sinful dream.

Lena feels her mouth go dry.

As they approach Kara's eyes light up in a smile, the bright blue shining straight at Lena, it makes her feel warm inside. It's moments like this that make her realize she never really had the choice of not falling for Kara, not when she looks like that, not when she looks  _ at he _ r like that.

"Lena oh my god!" Kara pulls her into a hug, Lena's hand slipping free from Andrea's unoticing as she hugs her back. "Grease? Really? you look amazing!" Lena flushes dark, and Kara takes her hand up, making her turn around so she can take a look at her full costume.

"Thank you," she manages to mumble, still feeling shy under Kara's unrelenting gaze. "You look incredible too," she nods towards Kara's outfit, willing her eyes not to wander too much.

Kara grins wide, pulling her coat open.

"Awesome right? Had to learn how to sow first but it was worth it. Now come on" she nudges. "Take a guess."

Lena groans, behind kara she can see Alex chuckling, it is no secret Lena is practically illiterate when it comes to movies–not much time for that specific type of cultural education in the Luthor household– much to Kara and Brainy's appall.

"The man with no name," Andrea chips in and Lena almost feels guilty for forgetting her friend was even there "Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo"

Kara beams at her, a bright smile.

"Yes!" Andrea crosses her arms, diverting her gaze, and Lena has to hold back a chuckle, Andrea apparently doesn't fare much better than her under Kara's eyes. "And you…" Kara's eyes narrow, her gaze traveling down Andrea's body. Lena wishes she didn't notice how Kara's eyes seem to linger momentarily at her chest, but they do and she does. Kara clicks her tongue, an easy smile. "Jennifer's Body"

"Yep, and I need a drink," Andrea says looking around in the kitchen.

"Got it," Kara smiles, unholstering a plastic pistol. She presses the trigger lightly and a small stream of incolor liquid shoots up. "Vodka!"

She offers the toy to Andrea who has an unsavory look on her face.

"I'm not putting my mouth in that."

"I got you," Alex hails from behind her sister, waving at Andrea to follow her.

As they are left alone Kara takes a step forward, smiling still, offering Lena the toy.

"What about you m'lady?" 

Lena chuckles, amused beyond herself, but shakes her head.

"Not drinking tonight, designated driver."

"But it's my birthday," Kara pouts and it takes every fiber in Lena's being not to just accept the drink, it would probably make things easier too.

"And I assure you I can enjoy the party with no alcohol."

  
  
  


Not even halfway through the night and Lena is regretting her choice to stay sober; firstly is not really helping with the Kara situation, not as they dance, body's pressed, Kara's coat discarded after a lost battle with heat, her muscles more visible through her shirt. And secondly, her will to stay sober so she wouldn't run her mouth to kara about how in love with her she is, is useless when faced with the fact that kara is clingy drunk; she hugs and kisses Lena's cheeks, throwing her arms around her. She is helpless in resisting, so she laughs at Kara's antics and  _ does not kiss her _ .

Lena takes the much needed break to breathe and sit a little as Kara mumbles something about refiling her pistol. But she barely touches the couch when Andrea's hand closes around her wrist, pulling her back up.

Her friend is just as tipsy as everyone else's seems to be, and she has an all too familiar look on her face, a dangerous one. It's a look teen Lena knew usually ended up with both of them in the headmistress office.

"Dance with me?" it should be a harmless ask but the smirk on her face says something different.

"What?"

As if on cue the music changes. Throughout the night the music selection had kept to the usual pop hits, and party usuals, the last one being a remix of Fergalicious. But now the mood changes to a song she's isn't too familiar with, the beat is energetic but the vibe more sensual than any song that had played earlier.

"Come on,"

Lena takes Andrea's cue as she starts swinging her hips to the beat of the song, hands sliding through her body hypnotically. They dance slowly, bodies pressed together.

Suddenly Andrea's hand grip her hips, turning her around, pressing against Lena's back.

"Come on, baby," Andrea whispers in her ear and Lena's breath hitch as she closes her eyes, body still moving. "Give her a show."

Lena is only confused for a second, as she opens her eyes she meets blue. Kara on the other side of the crowded room, watching them dance unblinking. Her eyes are dark, her mouth hanging half open, and Lena even sees the tip of her tongue peaking out to wet her lips.

She dances through the rest of the song with her eyes on Kara, still just following Andreas' moves. 

Lena thinks she should be at least a little embarrassed, it's not like her skintight clothes leave anything to imagination, and the way their bodies.move is nothing short of suggestive. But with Kara looking at her like that, hungry almost, she can't bring herself to remember what shame feels like.

As the song ends, Andrea presses a playful kiss to her cheek, giving a small squeeze to Lena's hips.

"You're welcome," she whispers before disappearing back into the crowd. 

Shortly after a Calvin Harris song starts playing. and Kara makes her way through the room quickly, Lena can see the small blush to her cheeks and eartips, and the way she's staring at Lena's mouth makes her legs shiver.

"I think Andrea hacked my Spotify," Kara says, gaze not moving but shoving her phone into Lena's hand, the screen reads ' _ You've been disconnected.' _

Lena can't help but laugh. of course she did, she thinks. and the sound of her laughter is enough to break Kara's eyes away from her mouth. her friend's eyes crinkle, smiling, almost all traces of the previous hunger gone, but Lena had no doubt it had been there.

  
  
  


Later, as the party starts to dwindle, Lena finds herself back in the kitchen, with Alex and Kelly, watching as Kara and Sam lock hands in an over the top arm wrestling match that seems unending.

Sam – who is dressed in a flattering full body one piece yellow suit that Lena vaguely recognizes as being from some overly violent movie – again and again manages to twist Kara's arm into almost touching the counter, only for Kara to tip it back to the middle.

The display is really only proof that they both had way too much to drink.

They both stay like that, biceps bulging, necks strained, and forehead's veins popping until Alex deems fit to stop it. It's clear it's not going anywhere, bothe of their hands already red from the other's tight grip, they would sooner break their fingers before either of them accepts to lose.

It's quite the show, Lena thinks.

Kara and Sam hug each other afterwards, all in good humor, accepting each a glass of water, and start talking about something that escapes Lenas ears as she takes the momentarily distraction to leave for a moment.

Outside it's considerably chiller than back into the apartment, the cool air that hits Lena feels much like a relief. As she opens her car door to fetch Kara's belated gift she sees her phone light up on the driver seat where she had forgotten it.

**Andrea:** s _ top being a coward. _

_ seriously _

_ it's ridiculous _

Lena sighs, resting her forehead on the cool metal of the car's roof. She fidgets with the small gift box, thinking back to a conversation she had with Kara a while ago.

  
  
  


_ "And It's so annoying and infuriating," Kara had said, taking a bite off her burger and getting worked up. She was talking about one of her friends Mike, who was in love with her, something that had seemed obvious to everyone, except Kara apparently. "this always happens: I make a friend and I'm like  _ yay a friend  _ and then out of nowhere they're like  _ I'm in love with you,"  _ she is spilling mayo everywhere and Lena has to fight back every ounce of Luthor training not to belittle her. "Like what!? And then if i tell them i don't feel the same, I'm the asshole," she had sighed, dramatically, a sad look on her face. "I just want friends who actually want to be my friends." _

_ Lena remembers reaching out, gripping her hand across the table, a reassuring smile painted on her face. "I'm your friend." _

  
  
  


Lena sighs, kicking close the door of her BMW's door, and curses herself; Kara had told her something that seemingly made her sad, frustrated, and here Lena was, ogling her, thinking about her in definite non-platonic ways, doing that very same thing.

She thinks back at how Kara had looked at her earlier, pupils blown, face flushed,it wasn't the first time she had ctached kara looking at her like that, it's not like she's not aware she's an attractive woman, but it had been the first time it had linger, and more importantly the first time it felt like she had provoked it.

It makes her feel guilty. 

Back inside she spots Andrea on the couch, seemly rilling up Brainy with something. The boy seems about to spontaneously combust, his hair messy beneath a bandana, Nia sits besides him, rubbing circles in his back. The other few people still on the apartament watch amused.

"The Lighthouse is not a romantic comedy," Brainy exclaims in the tone of someone who has had to repeat themselves one too many times and Andrea's smirk grows.

"Isn't it though? Think about it–"

Lena walks straight through them. Maybe in another time.she would have stayed, rolling her eyes and watching, amuse, as her friends made up reasoning to her faux argument.

But not today.

Stepping back into the kitchen Lena stops dead in her tracks for two reasons: One, Kara is clearly no longer in there, actually there's is almost no one in the kitchen anymore, which lead to Two, The only people still in the kitchen are Alex, Kelly  _ and Sam _ , and all three of them are talking standing close together enough to make Lena's neck blush, and exchanging looks far from platonic.

She clears her throat, embarrassed, eyes not staying too long on any of the women.

"Kara?"

Alex almost jumps at her voice, face burning red, stammering intelligibly. Sam only smirks taking a swig of her bear, eyes not leaving the redhead.

"Roof," Kelly answers, rolling her eyes at the others' antics.

Lena doesn't need to be told twice, she turns around on the spot, leaving the heated kitchen as fast as her high heels allow.

  
  
  


The roof's door is held open by a brick, it's cold and windy and Lena mentally curses Kara's inability to feel cold. 

The gravel crunches underneath her heel as she calls softly into the air, "Kara!?"

"Here!" comes the low mumble.

Lena takes a few more steps and sure enough there she is, sitting on the ground, back against the roof's edge, Kara, her coat back on but her cowboy hat lost.

She smiles softly when she sees Lena.

"Hey you," Lena greets, walking to sit next to her. 

They sit in silence for a second, taking in the night.

Kara sighs, "I wanted to see the stars," she points at the clouded sky.

"You're drunk," Lena chuckles and regrets immediately as Kara is suddenly staring at her very closely.

"No I'm not," as if to prove her point the words trip out of mouth in a mumble. She frowns adorably. "I can't be drunk. I have a party to host, Lena."

"Right," she can't help the smile, not with Kara's bright blue eye looking glossily at her in a mix of outrageousness and sleepiness. "Your party has like five people and a threesome left."

Kara seems to perk up at that. "A threesome?" 

"Yeah," Lena smirks at the round blue eyes, "Involving your sister, are you still interested?"

"Ew, Lena!" Kara groans, face scrunching in disgust. "Gross! Why would you even say that?! You're lucky I like you."

Lena's smile dies and she stares at her lap, the guilt starting to creep back in.

"Right," She barely manages to say, voice coming out choked. She forces the small box into Kara's hand to change the subject. "Happy birthday,"

Kara full on beams at her, smiling wide. She opens the box and holds the small necklace in front of her face, The odd shaped pendant swinging around in the air. 

Kara frowns confused for a second before her face lights up in recognition. 

She turns to Lena, mouth agape, "Is this–?"

"Krypton," Lena nods, a shy smile, "I had to google some old maps to get the shape and had it custom made," she reaches out to take the chain, resting the outline of the design laying flat on her hand. "This little dot," she points at a small engraving on the metal, "It's supposed to be where Argo City was."

Kara looks at her in wonder, it makes Lena's heart skip in her chest.

( _ Skip _ isn't the right word, she can imagine her heart standing ninety feet above on a plank, it takes form before jumps, straight and tense, in the air it twists around in perfect pirouettes before sinking into her stomach. All her other orgas hold up plates with tens in it. A perfect dive)

"You make it really hard you know, " Kara whispers as Lena hands her the necklace back, she's not looking at her, but at the gift, and her voice comes low enough Lena is sure she imagined it. "Really hard."

"What?" Lena frowns. Had Kara not liked the gift? Had she somehow overstepped, offended Kara's culture?

"Pretending not to be in love with you,"

It's like Lena has been electrocuted, or burned, the moment her brain fully processes Kara's words she jumps to her feet, eyes wide.

"What?"

"Yeah," Kara giggles, "Stupid right? little ol' me. in love with you."

"Kara you're drunk you shouldn't–"

"I've been in love with you for like a year," Kara says, she's no longer smiling, instead she seems to be holding back tears. "And I know I'm a terrible friend for that, I'm sorry Lena. I tried to not be in love with you but I promise I don't expect anything from you and if you want to maybe take a step back from our friendship I wouldn't blame–" Kara rambles almost unintelligibly, her drunkenness combined with the now-free streaming tears forming a terrible combo.

"Kara, what the fuck are you talking about?" Lena says softly kneeling in front of her drunk friend, cradling her face in her hands and wiping tears away.

"I'm an awful friend, I should've told you before. it's not fair expecting anything from you and I promise I don't."

"Shh, darling,"  _ Kara is in love with her. Kara is apologizing for being in love with her.  _ God, Lena wishes she was drunk. "You're not a bad friend, I promise you, okay? But you're drunk so you need to stop talking or you're going to hate yourself tomorrow."

"No," Kara sniffles, shaking her head, "I shouldn't be hiding this from you, it's not fair. I had a whole plan to tell you and then i chickened out, because it didn't seem right to throw our friendship away just because of some dumb feeling. And then you give me the most perfect gift which just highlights how much I don't deserve you–"

Lena will admit that kissing a drunk Kara is not the smartest or ethically correct thing to do, but it  _ works _ . Kara's ramble stops as their lips touch, just for half a second. It's tender and innocent and Lena wants to melt away in it.

Instead she pulls away, finding Kara, eyes still wet, looking at her in an shocked amazement, touching her own lips.

"Kara if you're an awful friend then I'm afraid I'm a monster," she whispers and for a second it feels like the guilt might come back but she smolders it. shoving it away. Kara likes her, it's okay.

  
  
  


She manages with great difficulty to drag Kara down back to her apartment, there are still voices in the living room but she drags them straight to Kara's room. 

She lays Kara down and starts to work on taking off her boots, the girl seems to be lost in her thoughts, eyes half closed and a dopey smile on her face.

As her hands tug in Kara's belt she seems to come back to life. Eyes widening, she sits up.

"Are we–?" She says trying to pull Lena in bed with her.

"We're not doing anything, darling." Lena chuckles. "I'm just making sure you don't sleep with a plastic gun in your waist"

Kara pouts, throwing her head into Lena's lap.

"Sleep over?" comes muffled.

"I have to drive Andrea home."

"I have a big bed."

"Okay, player."

Kara sits back up, pouting "I didn't mean it like that."

"Go to sleep Kara."

The blonde seems ready to argue for a half second but then she just nods, laying back down, tugging her hands underneath her pillow.

It's a weirdly heart warming sight. 

* * *

Lena awakes to her phone vibrating on her nightstand and the sound of Andrea throwing up in the bathroom. The sun shines through the blinds and she simply lays there, staring at the ceiling.

She tries to look back at her interactions with Kara since they've known each other; She knew there was attraction there of course, but had she really had been so lost in her own restraint that she had missed Kara's feelings entirely? How much of an asshole was she exactly?

There are enough notifications on her phone that if Lena had drunk the past night she would be freaking out, afraid she had gone and done something publicly terrible, damaging her family's name to the point of being chastised. But all the notifications bear Kara's contact name.

**Kara:** _ Okay so like i drinked alot ystrday _

_ But im pretty sure i didn't hallucinated _

_ us i mean _

_ on the roof? _

_ bc i have a necklace with the map of a country that no longer exists as proof _

_ and also i can hear sam's voice _

_ and it would be really fucked up if hallucinated/dreamed that _

_ you're asleep aren't you? _

_ Lena if you only kissed.me yesterday to calm me down im sorry _

_ you dont own me anything im responsible for my own feelings _

_ you're my best friend and thats all that matters _

The time stamp on the texts shows they probably arrived in the middle of night, Kara had probably woken up still half drunk to text her, which would explain the barely understandable grammar. She smiles at her phone despite herself.

**Lena:** _Stop freaking out._

_ I'm coming over. _

Lena Luthor is not an optimistic person, but she thinks things might just work out in the end.

  
  
  


Kara is in the shower when Lena arrives, being greeted by a half asleep Alex who won't look her in the eyes as she thanks her for the coffees'. Lena can help the amused look she exchanges with Kelly across the room as she crosses to Kara's.

She sit on the bed, back resting against the headboard, siping her own coffee and taking in the mess of the room; There are clothes everywhere, she even spots bits of the costume Kara had been wearing, the hat left carelessly on the overcrowded nightstand, books and papers liter the floor, and pictures and posters cover the walls.

Lena is in a staring contest with the red eyes on a particular  _ Dracula's Daughter _ poster when the bathroom door opens and Kara steps out, hair wet and tousled, dressed in soft sweats and a t-shirt.

Wordless the blonde hops in bed with Lena, taking the last coffee on the tray.

They drink in silence.

"You know," Kara starts, eyeing the same poster as Lena "Vampirism has been used a subtext, or just plain allegory, to queer people for ages."

Lena nodded, it probably made sense, she wasn't particularly paying attention.

Lena sighs, placing her empty cup on the nightstand, "So you like me?"

Kara's ears burn a particular shade of pink as she nods.

"Why?" Lena cant help but sound baffled.

"Why?" Kara frowns at her, coffee now forgotten. 

Lena nods, "I'm overly emotional to the point of hysterical and emotionally stunted at the same time. I never talk about my feelings. I have terrible sleeping habits. My mother is a horrible person who offended you in five different ways the first time you met. My brother is practically a clinical sociopath. And I've never seen any of the stupid movies you love."

Kara seems to consider her ramble for a minute, Lena watches as the crinkle in her forehead comes and goes and she tilts her head.

"You're allowed to be as emotional as you want, or not at all," She starts counting on her fingers. "So do I. The only thing I remember about meeting Liliam was that she treated you like shit. I don't really give a shit about your brother apart from how he affects you. And we can change that last part easily." 

Kara gives her a second to process before continuing. "Also you kissed me, so I guess you like me too?" Lena ducks her head, nodding slightly. "Well, I have terrible table side manners. I'm impulsive. I'm clumsy. My sister is freakishly overprotective. I cry watching movies that aren't even particularly sad. I'm a lightweight, which might be a deal breaker since you're irish. And sometimes I get really sad for no reason."

Lena watches in amazement as Kara struggles to pick herself apart, still counting on her fingers and as she finishes Lena takes her hand, kissing the palms.

"You do, but that's okay as long as you close your mouth," she counts by kissing each of Kara's fingertips. "Just stop getting hurt. It 's cute. Alex already likes me. I can drink enough for the both of us. And that's just being human."

They stare at each other for a minute, silence thick between them. Finally Lena sighs, resigned, she scoots a bit on the bed bending so she can rest her head on Kara's shoulder.

"How long?" She asks softly, she wants Kara to have fallen first, so that in the end Lena didn't betray her after all.

"I don't really know," Kara shrugs, "Sometime in between you telling Mike to fuck off at that frat party and that one time you fell asleep with coffee on your hand and splashed it all over your white shirt." Lena looks at her frowning, those are hardly the romantic awakening she expected of Kara. The blonde laughs. "I don't know, okay?! I just remember looking at you red faced, drunk, a finger pointed to a guy a full head taller than you and thinking 'holy shit she's incredible'. And then a few months later you were a mess, bags under your eyes, cursing and I still thought 'I want to be near her every second of every day'."

" _ Thanks _ " Lena ruffs making Kara chuckle, relief flooding her head, at least the party episode had been before she had realised her own feelings.

"And then," she continues, "I freaked out because I realized I was doing with you what people usually do with me with the whole  _ only your friend because I'm into you  _ thing, so I just repressed." Kara shrugs, a small, sad smile that grows as she looks at lena. "And then yesterday, I saw you dancing with Andrea and I was like  _ holy shit _ because like obviously I know you're hot but I've been trying not to think about it for so long that I  _ had  _ to get wasted. And later you were so nice with that gift, and I just–I–I love you Lena."

There is a silence that fills the room after Kara finishes her ramble, one that feels comfortable and familiar. She wraps her arms around Lena, pulling her closer, feeling her body relax, any tension left leaving with a sigh.

"God we are stupid." Lena's voice is muffled against Kara's sweater.

"Yeah… What about you?" Kara asks, nudging her side playfully. "How long have you been head over heels for me?"

"You're an ass." Lena jabs back before sinking into a contemplative silence, chewing on her bottom lip. "You remember when Andrea had to go back home for a month, and my mom came and wanted to have dinner?" Kara nods, "I texted you to calm me down and you crashed our dinner. Just showed up, dressed in a sweater and jeans, ate a hundred dollar steak and made  _ conversation  _ with her."

At that Kara starts to laugh, bending over and almost taking lena with her as her entire body shakes.

"Oh my god," she wipes a tear away, "I genuinely feared for my life that day. Every time she reached for the cutlery I thought ' _ this is it, this is how i die' _ "

"You asked her for her thoughts on Hereditary Kara!" Lena says laughing.

Kara grunts clearly annoyed "She didn't even get my attempt at offending her," 

"I did," Lenas answer comes way too suggestively, a glint in her eyes, eyebrows wiggling, "Aren't you proud of me?"

Contrary to what Lena expects Kara stops laughing, her eyes darken as she zooms in Lena's face, focused in her mouth.

"I'm gonna kiss you now," she breaths and promptly shifts their position so she's just barely angled on top of Lena.

Their lips meet with Kara's hand in Lena's hips pulling her closer, mouths parting. She moans as Lena's fingernails dig into her scalp, making the raven haired girl smirk against her mouth.

As they separate to breath, foreheads resting against each other Lena feels safe, more comfortable than she has been in a long time. In Kara's room, surrounded by her things, her smell, her life, she can't bring herself to worry about anything, no fears, no anxiety, all she feels is Kara.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](mickeyrory.tumblr.com)
> 
> the costumes:  
> Lena - Sandy Olsson (Grease)  
> Kara - Blondie/The man with no name (The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)  
> Andrea - Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body)  
> Nia & Brainy - Margot and Richie Tenenbaum (The Royal Tenenbaums)  
> Alex & Kelly - Velma and Daphne (Scooby-Doo: The Movie)  
> Sam - The Bride (Kill Bill)


End file.
